Board Thread:Fun and Games/@comment-24187738-20151214152123/@comment-27403056-20151215104645

So let me start with a quote from a song that helped me through a LOT.



‘’ Kanashimi ni tozasarete

Naku dake no kimi janai

Atsui mune kitto mirai o kirihiraku hazu sa’’



Which according to this glorious Wikipedia page, translates to:



‘’ Being closed in by sorrow

And just crying - That isn't you

With your blazing heart, you definitely can clear the way to the future’’



As I read those words on the screen, I felt a strong feeling, a feeling of being motivated to start again.



In the beginning I didn’t want to have anything to do with anime or pop music in general. You see, I have been and am deep into the Heavy Metal scene. In my opinion, it’s amazing music but besides that all it’s dark. Dark as the abyss. It has some light sides in a few subgenres but most of all, there’s not much room to breath. Because of all that, I can say I was pretty much a creep…wearing facepaint, spikes on my arms and even self-harm was a thing. Which mostly was a cause of a deep depression I was in. Let’s just say, I didn’t really function well. And besides all that, there was a lot of bad stuff going on at home too. My mom drank heavily, my brother did wrong stuff, and I was always caught in the middle of that all. I had to break up with my girlfriend as well, because of certain reasons and had an even worse time because of that. No work and no school either. I was a low-life. Before all this stuff happened, and I got into heavy metal I have been fan of anime though. But because of the scene really hating on it, I was just forced to do it too. Anyway (I think I’m saying anyway a lot but that’s just me) let’s get to the point…



<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;">I have this friend in the scene, living far away but that’s not a problem. Facebook helps with it. He was really just being himself. He loved all this Japanese stuff…And even though I thought it was weird and he got some hate, I respected him for that. The only thing I did which was labelled as ‘’weeb stuff’ was playing Final Fantasy. Which is a game that really brought some light into my life. Not only Final Fantasy but a lot more Japanese Role-playing games. With me really being into that, I slowly but surely got my brother into those games as well. And we really had a lot of fun playing those games together. My friend (his name is Manuel), would occasionally talk about the series he watched lately. One time he just finished Angel Beats and was crying, and I was like ‘’oh come on, how can you get sad over a cartoon?’’… oh boy how wrong I was with that. With the time, I got a bit more interested into all the stuff he did. I mean, he played in a Black Metal band but at the same time collected figures and other stuff. It was a really special thing for me. I would sometimes just ask about it, because I was kind of getting enough of the scene. I wasn’t allowed to just be myself. They’re nice people but one ‘’wrong’’ thing and you’re labelled bad things. So I thought ‘’why not be a little rebellious and go against it?’’

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<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;">One time… he just finished this series called ‘’Love Live!’. He was pretty excited about it all but sad too, because it ‘’ended’’. He couldn’t wait for the movie to come out and got me all kind of caught up in it all. So I was like ‘’okay dude, if it really is that good…I’ll just go check it out’’. So then with the help of SIF cards he introduced me to all those characters…those characters that later would become really important to me. ‘’This is Honoka, she might seem dorky and dumb at first sight, but she has a heart of gold and is a real leader’’… And so it went on and on. He sent me some youtube videos too, to show a bit of the comedy. I remember actually laughing really hard at the scene where they have to decide who the leader will be A few days later, I started watching it with my brother (who seemed interested too). My mother was being quite annoying (she was pretty drunk), so we really needed something to help us through. I remember my brother pressing play, and the episode started with a small part of ‘’Susume Tommorow’’. Honestly, I was thinking ‘’what did I just get myself into’’. It was so different from the kind of stuff I usually watch and listen to. But besides all that I had a pretty good time, laughing a lot. Actually laughing a lot more than the past few months. Besides that all, the first episode introduced the love of my live (bdum tsss) to me. Because the first time I saw and heard Maki-chan (reminder I really didn’t think cartoons could be attractive) sing, I had this feeling most guys would get when they see their crush. My eyes might have sparkled a bit. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing right in front of me. After the whole singing scene, she was kind of being introduced, and she reminded me totally of myself. Of all the characters, I am the most like her. Even my brother (and later my whole family) agrees with that. She basically says pop music is for ‘’plebs’’, which back then I (and her ofcourse too) wholeheartedly agreed with. She just stole my heart. A few episodes later, the emotions kicked in. It was the first time they performed Start Dash. With no audience and Honoka, Umi and Kotori just standing there…lost... it really hit me hard. And still, they performed, they went on and kept going. That was the moment. The moment I realized, I should be like that too. Stop lying to myself, just start being myself and not care for anyone’s opinion. And most of all, try to make my life better again. I signed up for the school I really wanted to go to but were rejected at a year before.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;">It was an artschool, so I really practiced as hard as I could. And I succeeded. I made one of my dreams come true. But anyway let’s go on with me following the story, because that all happened after finishing Love Live. I kind of started to like the music too. First like a kind of guilty pleasure. I wouldn’t tell anyone about liking it, because people would laugh at me. The first time I heard Bokura wa ima no Naka de, I was like ‘’oh god this sound just so super fluffy and happy’’ but as I took more notice of the lyrics and all I really started loving it. And that happened with all the other songs too.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;">The following episodes I really got sucked into the ‘’idol hell’’, and even though fans call it ‘’hell’’, I call it heaven. I started really adoring all the characters, for their passion, and courage and everything else. It felt like it wasn’t only THEIR story, I was there too. I was there with them. I saw them go through everything, just to reach their goals. From the struggles of Rin, to the problems Nico has at home and ofcourse Maki-chan who is forced to become doctor later. It all hit me hard. And at the end, when it all broke down and they were forced to break apart, I cried together with them. Love Live really changed my life. It changed my way of thinking negatively of everything. It changed my taste in music. And it wasn’t all change actually, it was me, finally being myself.

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<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;">Now that the day has come, for my beloved 9 goddesses to stop…I want to thank them. Thank them so much for being there for me. Because after Love Live! my life totally changed. A few days later my mom stopped being into alcohol and even though there were some dark times later on, they helped me through. All the times I was crying, all the times I was lost, It was μ’s who grabbed my hand and helped me. I am in college now, working proudly and thinking back once and then to those times. I have a huge collection of Maki/Love Live merchandise now too.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;">I still am in the Metal scene, but I’m accepted. I didn’t expect it, but I still have lots of friends online.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;">I am forever grateful to Manuel for introducing me to these girls. I’m bad at storytelling, but I hope I summed it all up good enough.

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<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;">Mata hitotsu yume ga umare...